Moving Phase II: Just Keep Squiggling

7:30:00 AM


We've been settled in the Spokane Valley for more than a month now. Go us! Our apartment is fully set up, the orange couch is here, all the plants are here, heck we even got ourselves a bonafide pet. I'll stop talking about the cat soon, I promise. Or, at least I'll tone it down. Eventually. Point is: we're here.

So, now that we're here... How does it feel? (In my head I'm singing that like these french boys.) One more time. How does it feel?


Well, it's starting to feel good. 

Since last year, we've known what our trajectory would be: move to Idaho. Ian has found the most amazing opportunity working in his family's business, which is based in Lewiston. He will be the third generation to run this ship and it's really cool thing to be a part of. It's exciting and important and I can't wait to see all the brilliant things he checks off his list. 

I thought I had planned everything so perfectly for us. We made arrangements, shipped our belongings across the state. We lived it up for our last few weeks in Seattle, and gave the city a proper see-you-around. We took time off to travel the world and explore places we've dreamed of exploring together. We had a plan. 

Then, we had a last minute update that would require us to live in the Spokane area for a few months before settling in Idaho. This was disruptive to my plans and the ideas I had for making a life in Lewiston, but still it was clearly a part of the bigger plan that I knew was the right move for us. 

But being here was hard, and I totally didn't expect that. It just completely snuck up on me during out first trip back to Seattle, after we had been in our new apartment for about a week. I was reminded of what my life used to look like and it made me feel anxious and out of place and I couldn't make sense of it.


I thought, this must be one of those things that makes "adult" life tough. You do your due diligence so you can make important decisions and feel really good about them. You acknowledge that there will be a need to adapt, and you know you can do it. Then you get there and emotions get in the way of the seamless adapting you had planned to do. You'll sort out your feelings and get over it, I told myself. 

But that wasn't quite right, and I came to realize where the disconnect was. It wasn't a logic vs. emotions battle. It was me. I had participated in all the talking-through, planning, actualizing, of the plan that is good for us. But in the meantime, I had failed to take the same care of the plan that is good for me. I let my plans be disrupted so that I felt like I didn't have a clear plan anymore because I didn't have a cool job waiting for me in Spokane like Ian did. 

But that's not how this works. Sure it's been a squiggly path, but both Ian and I have always been able to find success in our own careers. That's still the case. I just have to be a little more creative and flexible these days. That's a good challenge for me. I had a major squiggle moment in the midst of this transition because I temporarily lost sight of where I'm headed. But now that I know where I am again it's less scary. And I do have a plan. Yes, I am still in the squiggle and I am directing my squiggle forward. 

Squiggle on.

xo

{inspirational shark image via}





2 comments:

  1. Sounds like your journey across "adult" life is one of self-discovery! Don't worry if you feel off-kilter sometimes. Welcome to Being Normal! None of us gets it perfect 100% of the time, anyway, but you are doing extremely well AND chronicling it expertly. Nice to see Bob Dylan rules the planet! Great photo of you guys, btw! He's so cute in a nerdy way. I've got one of those, too!

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